Oh, just wake me when it's August

July is turning out to be quite complex. For starters, I still didn't have the hang of June and now its quite chilly outside and I once again have only my THREE QUARTER SLEEVED COAT to keep me warm. ( How, how, how did I not notice this in the shop?) 

Then there is the small problem of my Master's, which everyone assumes I have under control but really I'm agreeing with them so I don't look stupid. You know when you just nod because your brain has stopped taking things in and then once its finally caught up you realise you don't know what that actually was but ITS TOO LATE NOW, you can't go back and ask them to explain. What WILL they think of you? That is my life!

 

Then I had to tell people about my brilliant idea of a Children's Lit reading group that is combined with knitting and they all want to join so I'm going ahead and organising it. Found a lovely place and got some ideas for discussion topics and hum, am I forgetting something...something vaguely important? Oh yes that's right, I CAN'T ACTUALLY KNIT.

Only one thing for it, slurp some gin and back to bed until August. Failing that plan I may have to break out the EMERGENCY AUSTEN adaptations. Mmmm, Captain Wentworth, such reassuring thighs.

Head adjustment = Hair adjustment

Firstly, Hair stalking. Not good but in my defense it was really mostly unintentional hair stalking. More a confluence of events resulting in hair stalking.

I returned from my trip to Vietnam desperate for new hair ( it was all ratty and icky) and for a new hairdresser. Lili just had a new haircut and seriously, could there be a better advertisement for a salon? Long story short, went to the same salon, accidently got the same hairdresser and came out with this...

(Yes that's me, all innocent and cute!)

Which is a leetle (well, rather) close to Lili's hair! But, but, but. See it wasn't intentional and really a black bob looks so much sleeker and better than mine! Mine kinda looks as if Grug gave birth to my head!

That's Grug

That's me feeling naughty with Grug Hair!

But see I needed a new 'do. I'm going through one of those adjustment periods in life when its all whizzy brain syndrome (WBS) and crazy highs and even crazier lows. When you feel like you just grew up 10 years in about four minutes. 

It all started with the Lecturing, damn that job heroin, it gave me such a boost of confidence and such a feeling of certainty that now I'm re-examining all the other facets of my life and wondering why do I keep doing them if they don't make me happy?

My trip to Vietnam was a massive example. You may have noticed no specific posts here about said trip...That's cos it was a bit awful. A really expensive object lesson. So why did I go?

I have had a best friend for about the last 7 years who is amazing and cool and very much an awesome Frankie type chic. But for about the last year and a half every time I see her I leave feeling so crap about myself, so very unimportant and uncool and just bland. To try and change this feeling I tried to change myself, become cooler and more carefree, book crazy trips to Vietnam ( we were supposed to go with her and boyfriend) and generally be more like the person I thought she would like to hang out with.

As I write this I cringe because seriously, when does changing to fit with others work out? Cos I'm not cool at all. I like reading more than anything else. My Masters is the most exciting thing in my life. I don't music unless its classical. I really don't like staying out after midnight. Sunday night is date night with ABC television. I hate fancy restaurants and I can't stand Music festivals. 

So I'm standing on a balcony ( having an illicit cig) in Vietnam. The day has been 39 degrees and I get pretty sick in the heat. All I want to do is go home. I'm sooking cos all I can think is 'Why the hell am I even here?' And right then I make the decision to never, ever, ever again do something that I don't want to do ( within reason, cos you know, I still gotta go to work and the dentist)

Its so funny, I thought I loved to travel. But that was through England and France. Both of which had meaning for me. The books I read as a child, the films I've watched, the history, those are the places I get meaning from. So when I got back from Vietnam I found myself wanting to find that girl again. The girl who was so happy because she had been to libraries in Cambridge and seen first editions of Blake's poems. 

Here she is and strange, what a similar haircut to the one I have now.

xx

P.S- But sorry Lili for hair stalking, if you weren't so damn stylish and lovely! Don't they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery? Please feel flattered! 

Home again, jiggity jig

Hello Internet World,

Oh, I missed you and you look so pretty, is that new? Swoon.

Ah, home from Vietnam. Home from the 38 degree heat and the 70% humidity. Home from the non-stopping noise and the crazy traffic. Home from the beautiful, most intense, fantastic, horrible trip I have ever taken.

Home.

I may have loudly exclaimed on landing in Melbourne that I WAS NEVER LEAVING AGAIN! Which is a pretty bold statement as the V&A Museum is on the other side of the world and I have a real thing for that Museum. 

But for now I am so glad to be in my leetle house with a sympathy kitty and some hoodie boots. I think I'll stick around and appreciate the loveliness here for a while...at least until the jet lag wears off.